Chaand Apna Safar

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

दिल में यादों के नश्तर से टूटा किये
एक तमन्ना कलेजा मसलती रही
चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

बदनसीबी शराफत की दुश्मन बनी
सज संवार्के भी दुल्हन न दुल्हन बनी
टीका माथे पे एक दाग बनता गया
मेंहदी हाथों से शोले उगलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

ख्वाब पलकों से गिर कर फनाह हो गए
दो क़दम चल के तुम भी जुदा हो गए
मेरी हारी थकी आँख से रात दिन
एक नदी आंसुओं की उबलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

सुबह मांगी तोह ग़म का अँधेरा मिला
मुझको रोता सिसकता सवेरा मिला
मैं उजालों की नाकाम हसरत लिए
उम्र भर मोम बन कर पिघलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

चाँद यादों की पर्च्चैयों के सिवा
कुच्छ भी पाया न तनहाइयों के सिवा
वक़्त मेरी तबाही पे हँसता रहा
रंग तकदीर क्या क्या बदलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

दिल में यादों के नश्तर से टूटा किये
एक तमन्ना कलेजा मसलती रही

चाँद अपना सफ़र ख़त्म करता रहा
शमा जलती रही रात ढलती रही

yuu.N terii rahaguzar se diivaanaavaar guzare

यूँ तेरी रहगुज़र से दीवानावार गुज़रे
काँधे पे अपने रख के अपना मज़ार गुज़रे

बैठे रहे हैं रास्ता में दिल का खंडहर सजा कर
शायद इसी तरफ से एक दिन बहार गुज़रे

बहती हुई ये नदिया घुलते हुए किनारे
कोई तो पार उतारे कोई तो पार गुज़रे
तू ने भी हम को देखा हमने भी तुझको देखा
तू दिल ही हार गुज़रा हम जान हार गुज़रे

ye raat ye tanhaa_ii

ये रात ये तन्हाई
ये दिल के धड़कने की आवाज़
ये सन्नाटा

ये डूबते तारों की खामोश ग़ज़लख्वानी
ये वक़्त की पलकों पर सोती हुई वीरानी
जज़्बात -इ -मुहब्बत की ये आखिरी अन्गादाई
बजती हुई हर जानिब ये मौत की शाहानाई

सब तुम को बुलाते हैं पल भर को तुम आ जाओ
बंद होती मेरी आँखों में मुहब्बत का इक ख्वाब सजा जाओ

puuchhate ho to suno kaise basar hotii hai

पूछते हो तो सुनो कैसे बसर होती है
रात खैरात की i सदके की सहर होती है

सांस भरने को तो जीना नहीं कहते या रब
दिल ही दुखता है न अब आस्तीन तर होती है

जैसे जागी हुई आँखों में चुभे कांच के ख्वाब
रात इस तरह दीवानों की बसर होती है

गम ही दुश्मन है मेरा गम ही को दिल धून्धता है
एक लम्हे की जुदाई भी अगर होती है

एक मरकज़ की तलाश एक भटकती खुश्बू
कभी मंजिल कभी तम्हीद -अ-सफ़र होती हा i

chaa.Nd tanhaa hai aasmaa.N tanhaa

चाँद तनहा है आसमान तनहा
दिल मिला है कहाँ कहाँ तनहा

बुझ गई आस छुप गया तारा
थार थराता रहा धुंआ तनहा

जिंदगी क्या इसी को कहते हैं
जिस्म तनहा है और जान तनहा

हमसफ़र कोई गर मिले भी कहीं
दोनों चलते रहे तनहा तनहा

जलती बुझती सी रौशनी के परे
सिमटा सिमटा सा एक मकान तनहा

राह देखा करेगा सदियों तक
छोड़ जायेंगे ये जहां तनहा

aaGaaz to hotaa hai anjaam nahii.n hotaa

आगाज़ तो होता है अंजाम नहीं होता
जब मेरी कहानी में वो नाम नहीं होता
जब जुल्फ की कालिख में घुल जाए कोई रही
बदनाम सही लेकिन गुमनाम नहीं होता
हंस हंस के जवान दिल के हम क्यों न चुनें तुकडे
हर शख्स की किस्मत में इनाम नहीं होता
बहते हुए आंसू ne आँखों से कहा थम कर
जो मई से पिघल जाए वो जाम नहीं होता
दिन दूबे हैं या डूबी बरात लिए कश्ती
साहिल पे मगर कोई कोहराम नहीं होता

aabalaapaa ko_ii is dasht me.n aayaa hogaa

आबलापा कोई इस दस्त में आया होगा
वरना आंधी में दिया किस ने जलाया होगा

ज़र्रे ज़र्रे पे जड़े होंगे कुंवारे सजदे
एक एक बुत को खुदा उस ने बनाया होगा

प्यास जलाते हुए काँटों की बुझाई होगी
रिसते पानी को हाथेली पे सजाया होगा

मिल गया होगा अगर कोई सुनहरी पत्थर
अपना टूटा हुआ दिल याद तो आया होगा

खून के छींटे कहीं पोछ न लें रेह्रों से
किस ने वीराने को गुलज़ार बनाया होगा

Love? Lust?? Desire???

He used to say he is totally committed to her, cannot think of anyone else, very possesive, true love according to him.

They got married and immediatly she got pregnant, he went to leave her to parents house,
while coming back he met a desperate aunty in the the bus, after a short chat they became so
called good friends and exchanged numbers.

After coming to mumbai he was alone and wanted to talk to someone so started talking to this lady whom he had met in the bus, small talks changed into long conversations and then sex chat and finally being in bed with each other trying to satisfy each others so called needs.They kept meeting untill one fine day he met some other girl while waiting at the bus stop.

She was going home from work,and he was staring at her, he took the same bus which she took and was sucessful in grabbing a seat next to her, he started a conversation and by the time the girl reached her destination they had already exchanged numbers.


Again the same, small talks on fone, long converstaions, sex chats and finally he was sucessful taking her to bed. The earlier lady was married and also knew about this guys marraige but this girl wasnt aware of his marraige and was under impression he is a bachelor, she fell him, and started asking him to get married. This guy took her to bed a couple of times and when her questions about marraige started irritatin him, thought of dumping her.

By this time his wife had already delivered a baby, he visits them regularly and awaiting their return home.....


what is this?

Love?

Lust??

Desire???

FLIRTING???????

I was lust after all these months, thats what my conclusion is. Even after the return of his wife he was regularly in touch with the girl with whom he was dating while his wife was away for the delivery.

Every time they used to meet, he used to discuss his intimacy with me next day, all I could do is listen to it and advise him to get out of his for the sake of his wife and child.

Now the situation is, the wife knows everything about his extra marital affair as she claims one of her close friend had seen him with that girl. This guy promises her every time that he will leave her but all in vein when it comes to having sex with her.

He disclosed to her that he is married, but did not tell her about the child, she tried to slit her wrist, he showed off by breaking a bottle on his head, wife called her and told asked her who she was, she claimed to be his wife, wife told her about her child, she said she is not bothered whether he is married or having a child, she is her wife and cannot leave him, she will kill her self if he leaves her.

I think now he is more free and comfortable as both wife and the girl knows about him, in spite of all promises he still keeps in touch with her, meets her and every single day says the same phrase, "Today is the last date".........................

Meena Kumari

Aapaa !!!


This was to be a period in her life when an unhappy, loveless Meena would be under the ruthless microscope of nosy neighbours like Janki Dass. His memory mercilessly offers pieces in Meena story. One morning, he took Mukherji to Meena's bungalow at the far end of Janki Kutir. There was no one to stop them. No servants, no security guards. They walked in. Mukherji hesitated and sat outside in the vernadah, even as an informal Dass sauntered in. Meena was sitting on bare, cold marble floor with a half glass of whiskey near her. She was oblivious to surrundings, unaware of of her dishevelled hair or disturned blouse. She saw him entering. What came on her is difficult to know but looking at him with glazed eyes she picked up the glass and poured the golden liquid on her head. "Kyon Meenaji,any problem?" Dass asked. She wept, "Janki....He hasn't come for days...I can't live without him. All have left me. No one loves me." She was pining for Dharam. Dharam was shooting abroad. Drinking alone was depressing. She wanted someone, anyone. Where had they all gone? Everyone was at her beck and call when she was on the top, when she could be useful to them, when they wanted something... Meena picked up the phone. Mechanically, she started dialing for Dharam and stopped herself. Pradeep Kumar.... "Pradeep...kabhi yeh khayal aaya hai ke dekhoon Meena kaisi hai?" She asked.She was drunk but her voice was steady. "Meena...?" "Haan Meena." "I remember you a lot but there is a lot of work..." "Ab kya kar rahe ho?" "Kuchh nahin..." "To aa jao na..."



It was midnight by the time Pradeep arrived. They spent the night talking, drinking, reminiscing, crying... His memory is hazy but he remembers that Meena cried and said, "Purush hamesha matlabi hota hai...jab tak matlab tha sab mere paas aate rahe,matlab nikal gaya to Meena kaun hai? Tum sab matlabi ho...Meri zindagi mein jo bhi aaya hai usne mujhe istemaal keeya hai...sab kameene hain...Pradeep,bolo...main jo kehti hoon woh sach hai ke nahin?" Another time it was her old flame Raaj Kumar. She may have made fun of his twisted ear, prefering Rajendra Kumar over him but now a lonely, loveless Meena wanted Raaj Kumar. He had a cottage in the same neighbourhood. A prominent producer-director who doesn't want to reveal his name was visiting him to narrate a story. Kumar liked the story and said, "Jaani, meri ghanti baj rahi hai lekin jab tak aap kahani nahin poori karenge, main bottle nahin kholoonga." The phone rang. Raaj Kumar answered. " Hello..." Pause. "Meena, kahani sun raha hoon...." Pause. "I'll come in fifteen minutes. "he told her. The producer-director resumed the story. It was a long story. The phone rang, again. "Hello..." Pause. "I'll come in five minutes." he hung up. Raaj Kumar smiled smugly and asked his visitor to resume the narration. Ten minutes later, for the third time, phone rang. "Hello..." Pause. "Ab nikal raha hoon...It will take a minute. "he said and hung up. He grinned at the maker and said, "Bahut besabar ho rahi hai tumhari heroine. She can't sleep till I give it to her. Jaldi karo bhai...." The producer-director swears that the story is true. It was during this week that Rahul - a young, handsome struggler from the industry - approached her.

"Meenaji,I want to work with you..."he said. Her weakness for young boys was well known by then. Relatives, friends, rivals, producers, directors, costars, unit hands, neighbours, media...everyone knew of her two major weaknesses: Men and alcohol. Rahul visited her when she was feeling very low...Dharam was away, and in any case she suspected that he had no use for an old, haggard alcoholic heroine when a young Saira Banu was a willing woman. She knew that she couldn't compete with a younger, prettier woman. Rahul was one of the many faceless boys. Goodlooking, no doubt. He was a six feet plus healthy Punjabi from Jullandar. His original name was Mahindar and he was a small time villain in GP Sippy's 'Raaz'. She eyed him. He was tall, rugged and in his early twenties. "You should be a hero. Why don't you come at seven in the evening?" Meena told him. She had to shoot during the day. The boy got the signal. He came, wearing a white safari suit, emitting perfume and entered Meena's bungalow. He was seen leaving her bungalow in the morning. Here, in Janki Kutir, the word spread faster than jungle fire. Rahul and Meena were the talk of the town the next day. Like always happens, the lovers didn't know it.

The next night, once again, Rahul arrived. Lets try to understand Rahul. A nobody, his only claim to fame is sharing a woman with the likes of Dharamendra and Rajendra Kumar, Raaj Kumar and Kamal Amrohi, Pradeep Kumar and Bharat Bhushan.Was he in love with an image? The image of Meena Kumari. Or was it becoming a part of the legend that Meena Kumari was becoming? Or was he - like scores of the others - using, exploiting Meena Kumari? Or was Meena Kumari exploiting him? Old timers remember the way he would proudly display a diamond ring she gifted him. He would talk about her and in a way, he brought her more notoriety in a week than all her men friend did in her entire life. The line everywhere was, "Tch...tch...She doesn't even care for her status! Rahul is a nobody." Her brother-in-law Altaf saw in it an infamy he was not willing to accept and the night saw him angrily arriving at her bungalow with a lathi. Unaware of the fuming Altaf, they were sitting over drinks. Altaf entered and started shouting at them. "Munni,yeh kya laga rakha hai?...I won't leave you alive..." He smashed the scotch bottle, broke the table and everything around with his danda even as a drunk Meena and Rahul rushed out. He lost them in the dark, but remained shouting, awakening the entire neighbourhood. The two took shelter in a neighbour's house. From the next day Meena Kumari and Rahul became the hottest topic in the film magazines. Meena was hurt. She also was defiant. She knew her brother-in-law Altaf was a parasite...wanting to live on her earnings, and taking the advantage of the moral code, was blackmailing her into submission. She decided to legitimise her relationship......

Unlike a married Dharam who wasn't ready to take the plunge, a younger Rahul was willing to marry her. Dharam had become too busy, often refused to answer her calls. Rahul was ready to wear his heart on his sleeve, unashamed of his relationship with her. It was the neighbour Dass who took the inebriated lovers to, Aman (to find out the complete name) who had co-scripted along with Kamal Amrohi for 'Mughal-E-Azam'. "Manju, you can't marry. Shariyat doesn't permit an already married woman to marry again." Aman said sternly. "What marriage? Who is married?" "Whether you like it or not, to me you are the wife of a friend...You're Mrs Kamal Amrohi." He ignored Rahul who took a gulp from the bottle of whiskey he was carrying. "We have been living separately for the last 4 years. Our marriage has ended long time back. Even Islam considers it a divorce." (Meena had left Amrohi in March 1964.This was 1967-8 as Dharam was shooting for `Ankhen' at that time.) "Kamal still considers you his wife. There hasn't been any divorce, either." "Amansaheb, there have been a divorce earlier too...technically, even if I take Baqar incident main talaqshuda hoon." "What is this incident you're talking about?" "Once Kamalsaheb declared `main tumhen talaq deta hoon'.Thrice. Later he regretted. He wanted me back. This wasn't possible till I marry someone else and divorce him. This is our Shariyat. Everyone knows it.

I married Baqar, then he divorced me and Kamalsaheb became my husband again." K Asif and Dass were non-plussed. This was news to them. Aman, however,said," Phir to baat khatam. You're still his wife." "This means that you don't know what Shariyat says, Amansaheb..." Meena was firm. She knew the law." It is true that the wife has to marry someone else and then divorce him - before marrying her first husband again. But this is not done symbolically. There is a waiting period of 3 months after 'talaq' to be sure that the wife is not pregnant. Only after it is confirmed that she is not pregnant she can marry. Here again, the marriage is not symbolic. She spends at least one night with the new man, when they cohabit, and then they have to wait for a mandatory period of 3 months to be sure that she is not pregnant. The paternity of the child has to be beyond question. Do you mean to say that I spent nights with Baqar?" The argument went on. "Don't I also have a right to happiness?" Meena asked softly. "Try to understand,Meena." Aman wanted her to see reason. "Kisi ne kabhi mujhe samajhne ki koshish ki hai? Main kitni akeli hoon,maine kitna bhoga hai..." tears welled in her eyes.

She got up. Aman could see that though talking sense, she was high but that was no surprise to him. "Meena...Where are you going? Wait." Aman didn't want to let her go. In this frenzy she could do anything. He hurriedly pushed his feet in a mojdi and almost ran after Meena, Rahul and Dass. As they walked out of his bungalow, Meena placed the bottle over her mouth. Taking a long gulp, she put her arm around his slim waist to support him. Poor guy was no Dharam. He had reached his limit. "Rahul, shaadi to aaj hi karenge. No one can stop us. " she said as Rahul almost fell in the car seat. " Lets go to the Church. If Islam won't let us marry, we will marry by Christian laws. We both will convert to Christianity." Not a stranger to marriage laws, Meena knew that conversion would automatically nullify her marriage with Amrohi. It was midnight by the time they discovered a Church. However, the priest refused to convert an obviously drunk couple, urging them to return sober in the morning. "It has to be today. " she said. Maybe her tears moved Aman. Maybe, he was playing games .He suggested, "Appa, why don't you marry under Arya Samaj marriage rites?" They liked the idea. Dass knew Bakshi, the secretary of the Mandir. "Rahul, if you want to get married don't drink any more. "Dass cautioned the young man, and they headed for Santacruz, where Arya Mandir was located. Buxi was willing. But the marriage could take place only if she was ready to embrace Hindu religion. The actress who had Hindu, Muslim and Christian blood flowing in her veins didn't hesitate. "I'm ready. Khuda kaho Bhagwan kaho baat wohi hai..." she was casual as if they were discussing the change of her costume for one of her films. But Buxi knew the enormity of this conversion of Meena Kumari to Hindu religion. He insisted on four witnesses. "We will need two Muslims and two Hindus as witnesses to conversion and marriage." he declared. It was 3.00 a.m.